Getting The Most Out Of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a choice. It's choosing to absorb the hurt. It's paying the debt ourselves. It's extending grace to someone who deserves the opposite.

Forgiveness is also a door to peace and joy. But it's a small door, and it can't be entered without stooping- or kneeling. Sometimes, the door of forgiveness is very hard to find.

The truth is we all need to be forgiven. The Bible makes it painfully clear that every one of us has built up an enormous debt of sin to God. The payment of that debt required nothing less than the sacrifice of God's own Son, Jesus. The Father is now free to forgive us. Someone else has paid the penalty we deserve.

Christians rejoice in the forgiveness we receive from God, but the rub comes from other people. When we hurt the people we love, how do we go about restoring the relationship? When we suffer the pain of betrayal or injury or rejection from someone else, how do we deal with the anger and resentment we feel?

The answers we discover won't be easy answers. Living out God's truth will require a great deal of courage and humility. But if we will follow Jesus in learning to extend grace, if we will cultivate a forgiving spirit, we will find a greater sense of peace and freedom than we have ever known before.

There are many different themes to forgiveness but there are two in particular that I want to mention right now - God's forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others. Begin at the place where you sense the greatest need in your own life, then move to the others. As you understand more about God's gracious forgiveness of you, your own capacity to forgive will be expanded and strengthened.

So bring your broken heart, your shattered dreams, your desires for revenge, your guilt and shame. Let God transform life's worst experiences and your deepest failures into a powerful witness of his grace and love.

Forgiving can be hard, and allowing yourself to be forgiven is even harder. My struggle isn't in thinking that I can be forgiven for things that I've done in my life, but that I don't feel I should be forgiven - I know that God has forgiven me because I am repentent for what I've done and because I've asked for forgiveness, but I can't seem to forgive myself.

Some will ask, "Are you 'better' than God that you can't forgive yourself for what you've done? Are you a better 'judge' than He is?" I'm not, but I still have a really hard time being able to forgive myself. I can't seem to extend grace to myself though I'm able to extend it to others. I don't like that I can't seem to do it, it's weighing heavy on me, draining me, and this is all on top of dealing with the reason that I need to be forgiven in the first place.

I'm sad. I'm hurting. I'm tired.